2021
I remember 2020, was a tough year for us - I had lost my long-term connection with WH, pandemic hits, my mom dialysis become more toxic as there were a lot of requirements. Juggling everything in between - being a mom, provider, a wife, a daughter & a referee - my mental health was not in good shape. But I survived, we survived that year with flying colors pa nga.
And when 2021 is approaching, I actually had high hopes for this year before it even start - I thought it was the year of healing - finances, health, relationship, etc - for every one of us. But I was wrong, looking back by month per month experience now, I can say that it totally crushed me more than what I experienced last 2020.
- January - Chloe was bitten by Dog, went to PCGH for an emergency shot
- February - Arm Surgery ni Mama
- March - Dialysis Needs
- April - Swab Test @ NAS (+) daw, had to retake 2 times for Negative confirmation) & My abnormal bleeding start (not normal as it is a 2-weeks period)
- May - Emergency D&C because of heavy bleeding (when I say heavy bleeding, as in buo buong dugo ang lumalabas sa akin.)
- June/July - Entire family had flu, swab requirements for dialysis to make sure Mama is not positive in Covid
- August - Vaccine 1st dose / Mama's Sudden Death
- September - 40th Day / My 1st birthday experience without her.
- October - Mama's 1st bday in Heaven
- November 22 - Tragic Death of May (My loving grandmother)
- December - UNKNOWN (God please write a good one)
"FAITH"
Mama & May
Mama & May,
A big why is in my mind right now.
I am not really sure why these things happen this 2021?!! the plans God is showing - I can't comprehend, really can't comprehend and understand. Are you - two- really that tired of all the battle you have here on Earth?
To Mama, unti unti na kong nagmove forward Ma, unti unti ko ng natatanggap ung nangyari... pero having May join you agad agad, bakit ganun? binibigla niyo ko masyado.
You, two are the precious people in my life. Your love for me, wala ng ibang gagawa nun eh. it's too deep, the wound. God, Bakit? I am totally crushed. How to move forward now? sabi mo God, you have plans for me, beautiful plans for my life and my future pero di ko maintindihan bakit nangyayari to.
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